Sometimes you suddenly become angry while talking to your friends or having gossips with them. You may get angry in return. Here are some tips to reduce Anger and become patient in those situations.
Think before you speak
We are in a habit of speaking without thinking. Our words just seem to fly out of our mouths before we know it. Think for a while and evaluate that what you are going to say will be beneficial or it may hurt someone; who may become angry at you as well. Rather than wasting time on unnecessary speech or talking aimlessly, engage yourself in Dhikar that is definitely very beneficial to reduce anger and may not harm you and your fellow human beings as well.
“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”
Apologize if you hurt someone
The thing or act that will hurt you may also hurt your fellow human beings you apologize if you committed the mistake to hurt someone. Though it may be pretty difficult or uncomfortable for you to accept your mistake but apologizing on what you said to hurt someone will raise your place in his mind.
Secondly, it can help better your relationship with the other person, because you are showing that you are aware of their feelings and that you care about them.
Have a good company for you
Your friends company matter a lot. If you had a company of people who occasionally indulge themselves in backbiting and useless gossips, try to not sit in that company rather have friends who talk and discuss on valuable and informative topics
Abstain from backbiting
Backbiting (Gheebah) and lying are big sins, and forbidden in the Quran and as mentioned in various ahadith.
Allah The Almighty says in Quran:
“And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful.”
[Surah Al-Hujurat 49:12]
It was reported that Anas [may Allah be pleased with him] said: the Messenger of Allah [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said:
“When I was taken up into the heavens (the Mi’raaj), I passed by some people who had nails of copper with which they were scratching their faces and chests. I said, ‘Who are these people, O Jibreel?’ He said, ‘These are the ones who used to eat the flesh of the people and slander their honour.'”
[Sahih Al-Bukhari, 6095; Abu Dawood, 4253]
Evaluate how much time you’ve spent talking aimlessly
Recall your day’s memory and try to think that how much sins and bad things you have done in the whole day. Try to check that have you backbitten for someone? , have you hurt someone, and how much have you talked aimlessly.
Check before you send your chat
With the advent of technology, our conversations have evolved such that we ‘speak’ to people via email conversation, Skype, teleconferences, mobile, video messaging, Facebook, Twitter etc. The speed of it all makes us sometimes hit the send button before we evaluate what we have to say.
Quick tips to avoid this:
1. For e-mails, save the message as a draft and read after one hour before you send it.
2. For instant messaging, switch to something else (a small two minute task for example) then switch back and see if you still want to hit the send button. Always check before you send!
Mention Allah and the Prophet’s Name in your conversions
“Every gulp of air that goes out in a cause other than the cause of Allah (glorified and exalted be He) will turn to sorrow and regret on the Day of Judgment.”
Don’t let your speech be the source of regret in the Hereafter and as the hadith says:
“Make your tongue moist with remembrance of Allah (glorified and exalted be He)” [Bukhari].
Pray for yourself from the hells fire
As the tongue is the most powerful weapon to affectionate someone or hurt someone, so try to control your tongue . as Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said,
“Do you know the thing which most commonly brings people into Paradise? It is fear of Allah (glorified and exalted be He) and good character. Do you know what most commonly brings people into Hell? It is the two hollow things: the mouth and the private parts” [Bukhari].