Marrying a widow in Islam has a great reward. “When are you going to marry ?” “ For GOD’s sake, please agree to marry now; what are you waiting for?”

You have a settled business, have a house of your own, going overage, for what reason you are still delaying your marriage? “ and many such other sarcastic questions I had to face every day by my family.

After my father’s death at a young age, I became the only earner of my family as I was the elder most. I had the responsibility of 3 younger sisters and two younger brothers on my shoulder.

This burden was so heavy that it took almost 15-20 years of my life to take it off. I was busy earning for my family all these years, providing them better living standards, and educating my siblings. Now Alhumdulillah, my sisters have been married and are spending their lives happily with their husbands and children.


In the hustle and bustle:

I spent my youth and did not marry. As marrying would increase my burden, I wanted to educate and marry my siblings to get free from their responsibility.

 Now, I am above my forties, and obviously, it’s hard to find a virgin spouse at this age. Most matches I find are either widowed or divorced. And I am confused. Would marry a widow be a good decision or not? What should I do while my family Is forcing me to marry as soon as possible?

Many of us can face a similar situation when one is offered to marry a spouse who is already divorced or widowed. Islam is not a monastic religion. In historic Judaism and Christianity, widows were vulnerable because the Old Testament recognized no inheritance rights for them.

Marrying A Widow In Islam:

In the Eastern world, for example, in India and China, a widowed woman faces severe obstacles. She might be unwanted by her deceased husband’s family and even her own family. One considers her as a burden. There is a city where widows go to live in poverty in India until they die.

However, if you come across such a situation, the following are some points that can help you in making the right decision, whether to marry a widow or not.

1)      Your first choice should be to marry a virgin spouse. The reason is fertility, level of energy, and adaptability of unmarried ones. It was narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked me, ‘Have you got married?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘A virgin or a previously-married woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.

’ He said, ‘Why not a young girl, whom you could play with, and she could play with you?’ I said, ‘I have sisters, and I wanted to marry a woman who could gather them together and comb their hair and take care of them.’ He said: ‘You will reach, so when you have arrived (at home), I advise you to associate with your wife (that you may have an intelligent son).’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1991; Muslim, 715)

2)      In Islam, the re-marriage of widows has been greatly emphasized. At the same time, it has also been often stated that people, who bring up orphans, are very dear to Allah Almighty. This should give an excellent idea of the reward for someone who gets married to a widow and supports her children from her deceased husband.

Marrying A Widow: “A giver of maintenance to the widows and the poor is like a giver in the way of Allah (SWT), an utterer of prayers all night and fasting during the day.” (Bukhari)

3)      Be careful full you can not marry a woman in iddah. Let her complete her idea. Meanwhile, you can get time to reconsider and improve your decision about marrying.

4)      Marriage brings a lot of changes in your life. Be care full; An unmarried spouse would be easier to modify according to your choice than a married one. As he/she would be mature, would have developed habits according to previous husband/wife. So he/she might take time to adjust with you. Be patient and try to be cooperative

5)      Be aware. There would be a lot of comparisons! Although it would be a new start over for your spouse, your spouse would try to minimize the interference of his/her previous marriage in this new relation. But whatever you do, the reality is, he/she had a previous relationship. Maybe he/she doesn’t speak about it or doesn’t react, but there would be many comparisons going on in minds. Any harsh or strict attitude of yours can remind her/him of previous conditions.

6)      You should marry her/him Feesabillaah to please Allaah as you have no surety of your good deed being accepted and rewarded. Never taunt your spouse about his/her previous marriage.

Be Very Careful In The Case Of Your Spouse:

7)      Be very careful in the case your spouse has already children. It would double your rearward in a sigh of ALLAH, but it would be very much demanding to manage, especially when you are going to have children of your own too.

8)      A spouse having a second marriage with you can prove her/himself much better if he/she determines to make this relationship better than the previous one. Such a spouse, if wise, can prove her/himself better than the one having the first marriage with you by deciding not to repeat the mistakes done in previous matrimonial relations.

In the end, I would say that marrying a widow or widower is an act of high reward. As one is preferring a widow over a virgin spouse. But this adds to your responsibility.

You would have to be more careful and tolerant with your spouse than if he/she had the first marriage with you. The best option is to do istikhara if you are confused about your decision. May ALLAH guide us to the right path. Ameen.


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20 Responses to Marrying a Widow In Islam

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  6. arman says:

    Jazakhallah for the article
    but I have a question.
    if a first husband of a woman loved her very very much but died in war or in a crash and then if the widowed woman remarries!
    with whom she will be with in Jannah?
    my question is little weird though.
    sorry.please don’t mind

  7. arman says:

    I will be very thankful if you kindly give me the answer

  8. Amna Farooq says:

    Assalam o alikum!
    Brother i am not qualified to answer. How ever i have heard, people who manage to enter jannah would be free to choose their companions. I assume she can reunite with the husband she wants. And do not worry, jannah is so full of blessings that such issues will not matter there 🙂
    keep visiting our website.

  9. Mohd Munawar Khan says:

    assalammualikum Warhmathulahi Wabharkathahu Iam married Allah sbhanuotala blessed me with two daughter 7years and 6years old i am happy with my family.i come a cross with a beautiful lady of almost 1year younger then me she is a widow.i would like to propose her for marring me and she is willing to do so.but whether i can convince my first wife what is the best way to start the subject matter please help me out with some suggestion and support of some authentic aim a sunni muslim with strictly fallowing islam and hadees shareef.Jazakallah khair please mail me the reply.

  10. Amna Farooq says:

    @mohd munawar khan
    thats really good to hear that you do care about consent of your wife.
    i am sorry, i can not currently suggest you any hadees.
    do visit us in future.

  11. Asli says:

    Assalamualikum , I’m widow , my husband was died with accident before almost eight years and we have one son , when my husband died our baby was only two years and currently 10 year. Just i wait almost eight year to grow our son. Just now i want ask you can i marry by my self with out my family ? i confused some people told me that as i can
    Jazkumulah keyra.

  12. Amna Farooq says:

    its sad to hear that sister. as afar as your question is concerned, i am not a religious scholar but i have never heard that any widow can not marry on her own. you must check rulings on nikaah with out wali.

  13. sheikh Rahma says:

    Good deeds to widows could leads one to paradise…… widow are poors

  14. arman says:

    sister amna farooq JAZAKALLAHU KHAIRAN for your reply…you are right sister but I have a little wish(though I don’t know if it is right to have a wish like this 🙁 ) ,I want my wife(if I get married in future INN SHAA ALLAH) to be only mine both in this world and in JANNAH INN SHAA ALLAH.that is why I asked that quetion.I am sorry if it was weird.
    I just hope ALLAH will accept my wish INN SHAA ALLAH.
    may ALLAH guide us all, fullfill all our wishes, give us all the Tawfeeq to do good deeds always and accept our good deeds and give all the Muslims the Tawfeeq to follow the Sunnahs of our Prophet Sallallahi Alaihi WaSallam always,AAMEEN.

  15. arman says:

    May ALLAH have mercy on us all and all the Muslims and grant us all and the whole Ummah JANNAH,AAMEEN.

  16. Jana says:

    Salam, I am unpleased with this article as there are many places in which it recommends the marriage to a virgin spouse before a widow, just because the virgin spouse has no experience and won’t compare – this is shallow way of thought for any man and any smart woman would actually prefer another man with a evolved mindset. Yes it’s good to give some pointers on the presumptive way of thought of a widow but the article suggests that the widow is the ultra last resort to consider marrying, which in turn demeans her status. In Islam a widow is like any other woman –she is given equal chances to marry, as long as she doesn’t hide the fact that she was previously married and that her husband passed away. Then the man is free to decide whether or not he wishes to continue the relationship. And by the way — how would you feel as a man, if you were a widower and read an article that classified you as a secondary option to marry a woman? Well this is what you are doing to many muslim sisters who have read this article.

  17. Amna Farooq says:

    We regret that this article displeased you. How ever, the point your mentioned has been explained in article with reference to a hadith, and hadeeth went that way !
    yet, the sole aim of this piece of writing is to convince people to marry widows, which usually face difficulty in finding a good spouse.
    Apologies again! if it hurt any of your feelings.
    keep visiting us.

    we are offering free 3 days trial of Quran classes, visit this link please ->

  18. Tarasnu says:

    Looking for suitable match for a widow with a7 year kid

  19. Abdulwaheed says:

    Asalam alaikum, I am interested in marrying a widow but i fear I might not be able to take care of her many children which she had for the late husband. Can this be a valid ground not to go on with the marriage with the widow

  20. AsmaArshad says:

    Waalikum Salam brother, It is Allah who strengthens the one who aims for good. If you have good intention behind this cause; then do not fear for anything. Allah swt will give you strength and courage to fulfill every requirement of this relationship Insha Allah! 🙂

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