“Oh come on! Why should I be sorry? It wasn’t a big deal! I can’t say sorry, my fault wasn’t that much big, he/she must apologize first. Oh! It’s so embarrassing to be apologetic. So what if I did wrong! People make mistake, it doesn’t mean I must degrade myself by apologizing in front of her/him”. To accept mistake and apologize is as great virtue as accepting an apology. Both are equally difficult but rewarding for the Muslim. Seeking apology or saying sorry is one of the greatest hard jobs of world. It’s a human psychology, it never accepts inferiority. Same is the case with accepting apology, as taking revenge is also one of major intrinsic habits of a human being.
There are a very few of human kinds, which are generous and kind hearted enough to say and accept sorry readily. That’s why Islam emphasizes on both of them. ALLAH subhana hu wa tala likes people who repent willingly and who are forgiving.
Often people are reluctant to apologize out of ego or hesitation, even though they know their mistake. And even worse case is when one is not even ready to accept his/her mistake. Such wrong attitudes are reason of sour relationships. We can’t have healthy relationships if we don’t learn how to handle mishaps and humbly ask for forgiveness. Islam greatly stresses upon essence of apology. It not only emphasizes verbally but we do find such practical examples at many places. One of the example is , when the brothers of prophet joseph apologized to their father prophet Yaqoob , saying that “oh our father, seek refuge for us, for verily we are in the wrong”.
Just saying the word sorry isn’t enough. Apology basically has 3 parts.
1) Say sorry.
2) Accept your mistake / fault.
3) What should you do in return to fulfill the loss.
All of the three parts are compulsory, and your apology is incomplete if you miss any one of it. Mostly people miss the third part. They do say sorry, and do accept mistake but forget to fix the trouble they created.
“It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert (stop talking to) his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning to the other way when they meet, the better of the two is one who is the first to greet the other.” [Bukhari]
“Pardon them and overlook – Allah loves those who do good” (Qur’an 5:13)
Often it happens we get hurt, or someone displeases us. And our habitual attitude towards such conditions is harboring hatred and anger against that particular person. This has too many negative spiritual, moral and health effects. Following the sunnah of prophet Mohammad ( sallalla hu ali’hi wassallam) our approach should be positive. We must develop habit of forgiving gladly and voluntarily. Especially if some is asking for forgiveness and is sorry about his/her act. One must never refuse to accept apology. Keeping in mind that forgiveness is one of the greatest attributes of our magnificent creator ALLAH, He want to see reflection of this attribute in his man too. So we must forgive, even if the other person is not sorry. It not only pleases ALLAH but releases us from unnecessary mental stress.
“Those who control their anger and are forgiving towards people; Allah loves the good.” (Qur’an, 3: 134)
See the beautiful verse! What we get in reward of pardoning and forgiving people from ALLAH subhana hu wa tala! Along with other worldly benefits, one attains love of ALLAH. You get love of Lord of Lords in return of letting the hatred and anger go of your heart. Isn’t it an awesome deal?
In other words, it’s a trade of love, with ALLAH and people also !