Let us know about the Islamic concept of husband and wife relationship from the verses of Quran.

Husband and wife relationship: What does the Quran say about it?

In Islam, marriage is a sacred knot and a blessing. It’s this connection between two human souls to share their moments of peace, sorrow, and to strengthen each other.

1. The purpose of marriage

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ 

سورة الروم ٢١

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquillity with them. And He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” 

Ar-rum 30:21

This verse sums up the purpose of marriage in Islam. Allah has created us in two different genders, male & female. Each has its own physical structures, different mental and psychological qualities, and different emotions and desires. 

Allah created the husband and wife relationship to complement each other. The physical and psychological demands of the one match squarely with the physical and psychological demands of each other. 

husband and wife relationship

2. Equal in humanity

2.  husband and wife relationship

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا 

سورة النساء -١ 

“O’ mankind! Have the consciousness of your Lord who has created you from a single soul. From it, He created your spouse and through them, He populated the land with many men and women. Have spiritual awareness of the One by whose Name you swear to settle your differences and have respect for the wombs that bore you. Without doubt, Allah (SWT) keeps watching over you all.”(Surah 4, Verse 1)

4:1

In this verse, we are once again reminded that it is Allah (SWT), Who created this humanity. Then HE made their spouse. Through these two has the world become populated. Both men and women are equal in humanity.

Allah commands His creatures to have Taqwa of Him by worshipping Him Alone without partners. He also reminds them of His ability, in that He created them all from a single person, Adam, peace be unto him. “And from him, He created his wife” Hawwa’ (Eve), who was created from Adam’s left rib, from his back while he was sleeping. When Adam woke up and saw Hawwa’, he liked her and had affection for her, and she felt the same toward him. An authentic Hadith states,

“Woman was created from a rib. Verily, the most curved portion of the rib is its upper part, so, if you should try to straighten it, you will break it, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked.” (Fath Al-Bari 6:418)

3. It is encouraged

Encourage Marriage to Discourage Immorality. 

[24:32]. You shall encourage those of you who are single to get married. They may marry the righteous among your male and female servants if they are poor. GOD will enrich them from His grace. GOD is Bounteous, Knower.

24:33. And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste until Allah enriches them of His bounty. And such of your servants as seeking writing (of emancipation), give them such writing, if you find that it is good and honesty in them. Give them something (yourselves) out of the wealth of Allah which He has bestowed upon you. And force not your slave-girls to prostitution, if they desire chastity, so that you may make again in the goods of this worldly life. But if anyone compels them, then after such compulsion, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. 

These clear Ayat include a group of unambiguous rulings and firm commands. “And marry those among you who are single (Al-Ayama)….” This is a command to marry. The Prophet, peace, and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

“O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him marry, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and protecting the private parts. Whoever cannot do that, then let him fast, for it is a protection for him.” 

(Source: Two Sahihs from the Hadith of Ibn Mas`ud.

(Fath Al-Bari 9:14) In the Sunan, more than one person recorded that the Messenger of Allah, peace, and blessings of Allah be upon him,  said:

 “Marry and have children, for I will be proud of you before the nations on the Day of Resurrection.” 

husband and wife relationship

5. Marriage is joy

[25:74]. And they say, “Our Lord, let our spouses and children be a source of joy for us, and keep us in the forefront of the righteous.”

It means those who ask Allah to bring forth from their loins offspring who will obey Him and worship Him and not associate anything in worship with Him. Ibn ‘Abbas said, “This means (offspring) who will strive to obey Allah and bring them joy in this world and the Hereafter.

Abu Hurayrah narrated, in Sahih Muslim that the Messenger of Allah said: “When a son of Adam dies, his deeds cease apart from three: a righteous child who will pray for him, knowledge from which others may benefit after him, or ongoing charity.” (Muslim 3:1255)

6. husband and wife relationship

6. Monogamy Vs. Polygamy

Husband and wife relationship

In Surah An Nisaa:

“You can never be equitable in dealing with more than one wife, no matter how hard you try. Therefore, please do not be so biased as to leave one of them hanging (neither enjoying marriage nor left to marry someone else). If you correct this situation and maintain righteousness, GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.” (Quran 4:129). 

The Quran also says that you should be content with only one wife or what you already have (for those already married to more than one). This way, you are more likely to avoid inequity. However, God says that one can never be equitable in dealing with more than one wife, no matter how hard one tries. Since being equitable is such an important commandment in the Quran, monogamy is greatly encouraged. However, if a man wants to take on this challenge, that is between him and his Creator (Quran 4:129).

husband and wife relationship

7. A garment

هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَهُنَّ ۗ

“They (your wives) are a clothing (covering) for you and you too are a clothing (covering) for them.” (Surah 2, Verse187)

In our day-to-day life, we see many uses for clothing. Our dress acts as beautification for ourselves and covers any defects that we may have on our physical body. Thus, if a person has a scar on his body, the clothing will cover this from others around him. Therefore, they would not know that he has such a physical ‘defect.’ 

The husband and wife relationship is the same. For example, if the wife has spiritual defects or lacks something in her character, then the husband must cover them and not expose her shortcomings to others. The wife, too, must cover up and hide her husband’s deficiencies and weaknesses and protect her mate. Not only has Allah (SWT) commanded the believers not to make fun of one another and not to mock or ridicule others, but they are also supposed to protect the honour and integrity of one another.

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