The beauty of a marital Relationship in Islam,
Having to leave childhood behind and entering into a new phase of life, transforming to Wife and Husband from a mere girl and boy is indeed the most significant event of one’s life. It is often the most feared of the event too for most girls and boys of this generation. The uncertainty of the new relationship’s success. Fear of your better half’s nature, the anticipation of a new home with a whole set of new faces in it, and whatnot. This is what haunts every girl and boy’s mind these days.
In the light of Islam however marital Relationship is a beautiful relationship, so much so that our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) aptly called it “completion of half of your deen”. The importance of marriage is accentuated by this ayah of the Holy Quran (25:74) :
Not only does this ayah emphasize the importance of Marriage but it also provides a solution for our fears for a marital Relationship (making dua can even change the fate ). “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” What a beautiful dua it is and how apt indeed. All married or unmarried beautiful young girls and all young boys must recite this dua on daily basis, and be sure of the best outcome out of it.
A happy marriage indeed is the best thing that could ever happen with your life. Being married and loved makes you so strong that you are able to pass through every storm and torment unharmed.
DOs of a happy married life
LOVE
This four-letter word is necessary for almost any relationship to be successful. but it is quintessential for a marital relationship. The more amount of love you and your spouse show for each other the stronger the bond becomes. and the happier the family gets. 🙂
(You might have to “pretend” to love your spouse at first, don’t be ashamed “DO IT!!”. and you’d be surprised at how quickly you get the same response from your spouse and at how quickly you’d actually topple over headfirst in love (the Actual LOVE 😀 ) )
Care
CARE for each other. caring is the second best part of your marital relationship. When you care for your spouse, be sensitive to their needs, wants, likes, and dislikes. When your spouse needs you and your caress put aside everything (including your ego 😛 ) and be with them. After a hectic day of work if your spouse demands a few moments of solace with you, do not refuse him/her.
(P.S: Caring is NOT a girl’s thing. It’s an all-rounder. So dear guys you too need to show Care towards your wives 😛 )
Define your Priorities
Define your priorities and PUT YOUR SPOUSE ON THE TOPMOST!!! (Yes I actually am Shouting this). We really need to prioritize our life, and who else except for our better half could take the first place? : ) When given a choice between being with your spouse when they need you the most and hanging out with your friends, choose your spouse. This does not mean that you go anti-Social and end every relation besides your marriage. NO!! don’t do that. Just make sure that your spouse and you are available for each other “ALOT” and especially at the time of need.
(Guys don’t leave with your gang o’ boys right after your wife returned from her parents’ place after a week, for example. And girls do not go off on a Girl’s night out as soon as your hubby returns home after a long, hard day of work. )
Plan Activities together
Plan Activities that please both of you together. If you love cooking involve your partner and try out some new and twisted recipes together. You can plan some recreational trips. Readout Holy Quran aloud for each other to listen to. Say your prayers together. Readout loud some interesting book to your spouse while she’s probably busy knitting. Read the Seerah of our prophet (PBUH) and His (PBUH)’s relation with his wives together. Share your experiences of the day with each other.
Beautify yourself for your Spouse
This is ESSENTIAL ladies and gentlemen! Beautify yourself, groom yourself, look fabulous; for your spouse, with the intention of pleasing ALLAH. Do not style yourself only when you’re going out. Do it for your spouse. And do not look like you have been hit by a rocket nor like you were sucked by a tornado. wear clean clothes. Don’t smell. wear some fragrance. look comfortable yet pleasant. Boys! Do not wear your 16-holed undergarments when you’re relaxing at home. and Girls! get out of your PJs, trust me you have a whole huge rotting closet full of clothes waiting for you out there.
Ibn Abas may Allah be pleased with him and with his Father, the cousin of the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) says that when someone saw him taking good care of himself, combing his beard, combing his hair, and wearing nice clothes, he said listen you are one of the cousins of the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) and you are one of the most knowledgeable of the companions and you are doing this. He said yes.” I like to beautify myself for my wife as I like my wife to beautify herself for me.”
In Marital Relationship Do Not Argue:
Arguments between a couple are invincible. but what could stop these arguments from adding bitterness in your life is by not prolonging the argument and letting it go even if you know you’re right (your partner would realize that soon, if not you can explain things to him later when he’s in a pleasant mood.) Avoid starting an argument. and NEVER shout.
Respect your Differences
Learn to respect each other’s differences and DO NOT expect your partner to be perfect. cause you’re not perfect either. No 1 is. love your partner unconditionally and all the same. Respect the other person’s opinion and do not tell them that they are wrong even if you disagree.
Pray
most essentially pray with all your heart. It is in both a man’s and a women’s hands to put the foundation of their future home. The way they spend their lives and the way their children would spend their’s depends on how they put the foundations of their house. So make a sound base. Establish Prayers, Fasting, and Zakat. Always make dua for yourself your spouse your home and your children. Husband and wife should both make it a habit to perform voluntary Prayers and give alms. Stay true to your deen, Allah, and Prophet (PBUH). keep reminding each other how you would love to be in Jannah together. and what you need to do to earn Jannah.
May Allah bless all my sisters and brothers with a sound happy peaceful married life. Ameen!!!
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